– returning home early this time –
Our Baja seemed beautiful as ever this year…
We mostly did what we always did…
Souvenirs from the sea.
A needlefish spine. If we only could bend our spine like this.
* * *
But things didn’t go so well this time. I developed major health issues this season. After only 4 months we pulled the plug and decided to go home.
Of course it’s still winter. Already in northern Baja, in San Quintin, we were assured that the season was far from being over yet. The road was a muddy mess.
But all went well. A broken windshield wiper arm was fixed the simple way.
At the Salton Sea in CA we took the only day of rest and waited out some brutal Santa Anna winds further north. The sunsets there are pure magic. It’s mostly smog from L.A. that’s causing those spectacular evening shows, but beauty doesn’t care what causes it.
The lake is slowly drying up. Its shrinking will be a disaster for the millions of migrating birds who stop by here.
We always felt a kinship to these migrating birds resting for a few days on this desert shore.
* * *
Cruising north along the endless freeways west of the mountains this time we fell into a trance. You are on a river of senseless haste. What is the matter with us people? Why are we so driven, so busy moving ahead? Where do we think we are going? We all feel we should slow down, the bill boards along the freeway bombard you ceaselessly with messages that we are not ok yet, we still have to do this or that, to establish some imagined security, to accomplish some goal, then we will slow down and smell the roses, maybe. I feel helpless and a bit scared, I have to admit it, the first time in my life. I don’t know what’s the matter with me.
I never wanted this blog to be just a place of reportage, more a place of reflection and shared contemplation. And yet things like this develop a life of their own. We tell stories, ‘our‘ stories, we all do. But life is essentially nothing like a story, it’s our mind that is making one of it. We struggle as long as we live to find ‘the story‘, to search for meaning, to discover sense. And then we sometimes see ourselves in other’s stories.
It seems like aging is not at all a gradual process but can go in pretty dramatic sudden steps. In these past months I feel like I stumbled down several steps at once over night. It’s scary, it’s humbling and maybe just embarrassing; I really don’t know yet.
* * *
So, here we are. We made it safely. Even though we haven’t spent a single winter in the northern US yet we knew of course what would be waiting for us at home. It’s cold and wet! It’s home. It’s so good and it’s a bit like hell: rain, snow, wind, and around freezing all the time for another month or so.
Klaus Feb.25. 2012