Fifty Pounds

 – Catching an obscenely big fish –

 Did I earn all those silly bragging rights now?

* * *

This was my grand slam this year!

 Once or twice a year John takes me out with his motor boat to catch really big fish.

 * * *

 Can you imagine what it was like to fight with this monster and manage to get it into the boat? I hooked it very close to Punta Baja in shallow water, we had been poking around without any result for hours and were just about to give up. He went into the rocks two times but was probably simply too big to find hold there, he pulled the boat as if it was a toy. When we had managed to reach deeper water it was pretty much a game of endurance; no fair play for the poor creature. In the end the fish somehow peacefully gave up; it was heart wrenching to feel this. It still took several attempts to gaff it and heave it aboard.

 I was totally spent when I looked at the fish, I kneeled down and stroked its soft skin and heard myself apologizing, I was close to tears. Gee, how do you ever understand emotions? Was it really the thrill of victory? Or was it remorse? Yes, we do these things, but do we have to?

 I looked up and saw John’s overjoyed face, and we euphorically high-fived and laughed, and it was just wonderful. Later I see my own happy face in the pictures. Do we ever know what we are doing? Do we ever understand what we are feeling?

 I have a blue spot on my groin from the fishing pole.

 Back home we had trouble carrying it.

 Exactly 50 pounds !

 Did I earn all those silly bragging rights now?

 Enough food for many people for many days. And what wonderful food Yellowtail is!

* * *


 Another day in paradise at Honeymoon Cove, looking at a confused mind, and seeking to find peace in all the unsolved mystery.

Every now and then we take our siesta in this cave at Punta Arena. Out of the sun and the wind for a while, it’s great to take a nap.

Punta Baja again; it’s still the place with the ultimate magic. By now we are in perfect shape and don’t even get tired on the long trip.

The little cactus forest on the east coast around Punta Baja.

 Sea salt, freshly harvested from some tidal pools at Punta Baja. One scoop with a shell is enough for two years for us.

 * * *

 I am the rest between two notes,

which are somehow always in discord

by Rainer Maria Rilke

 My life is not this steeply sloping hour,

in which you see me hurrying.

Much stands behind me; I stand before it like a tree;

I am only one of my many mouths

and at that, the one that will be still the soonest.

I am the rest between two notes,

which are somehow always in discord

because death’s note wants to climb over –

but in the dark interval, reconciled,

they stay here trembling.

And the song goes on, beautiful.

* * *

                                                                           Klaus  Feb. 4.   2010

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